I'm a soprano 1 and we're kind of the worst people ever. (Just kidding - I love my fellow sopranos.) But after years of singing in the soprano section, I've come to realize that there are a few parallels between sopranos and the movie "Mean Girls." Don't believe me? Does this sound familiar to you?
Testing the New Sopranos
But you’re, like, really talented… So you agree? You think you’re really talented?”
When You Want the Solo But Your Friend Auditions For It
You can't audition for my solo! That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.
Singing a Piece Where the Notes Lie Above the Staff
Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by this repertoire.
Even the men are victimized...
When an Alto Tries to Sit in the Soprano Section
You can't sit with us.
Karen: Why are you an alto?
Me: Karen, you can't just ask people why they're altos!
The Soprano Who Doesn't Understand Straight Tone
But I can't help it if I've got a heavy sound and a wide-set vibrato.
Soprano 1s Always Think They're the Best
Me: What part do you sing?
Her: I'm a Soprano 1, duh. *pretentiously rolls eyes and points to self*
Carefully Manipulating Your Fellow Sopranos
Don't sing like that, because you will get nodules and die.
The Overly-Confident Soprano
I can't help it that I'm so talented.
Pretending to Be Bad Singers
Soprano #1: My tone is so weird.
Soprano #2: My vibrato is huge.
Soprano #3: My high notes suck.
Soprano #4: I have bad breath support....
Sopranos Got Sass
To the new soprano: I really like your voice!
Behind her back: That is the ugliest effing voice I've ever heard.
Can we all take a litle advice from Tina Fey and stop being so mean?
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Tori Cook is the former Director of Sales & Marketing at Chorus Connection, an active board member of the Greater Boston Choral Consortium, and a soprano with the Tanglewood Festival Chorus. In a past life, she was the Music Director of the Harborlight Show Chorus and President of Chorus pro-Musica. When not making music, she daydreams about adopting a golden retriever puppy and scuba diving to exotic locations around the world.